Nine Rules for Taking Your Non-Fishing Family on a Fishing Trip
It must’ve been the milkman.
Or the plumber.
Or the mailman.
Neither of my parents gives a rat’s ass about fishing. My brother is at best lukewarm on it. Despite that putative biological handicap, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I knew that when I was 6 years old, and by the time I was in my twenties and a little bit more in control of my own destiny I really pushed the issue.
Despite their obvious shortcomings (see above), I actually like my family. They don’t know a Carolina Rig from a Hula Grub, but otherwise they’re good people, with generally pleasant demeanors and a lot of interesting accomplishments.
I really wish I could meaningfully share my passion with them on a regular basis, but it’s just not meant to be. I know not to force the issue. At the same time, on rare occasions (slightly more often than Halley’s Comet, slightly less often than the Yankees winning the World Series) I have gone on fishing trips with them, and as far as I can tell we’ve all had a good time. No one has come home to find themselves divorced, excommunicated or written out of the will.
You too may have a family whose other members do not care about fishing. You too may want to spend all of your time chasing exotic species. I don’t necessarily think those things are mutually exclusive – as long as you choose the proper trip.
In some cases, that might mean a family trip to a place like Costa Rica or Florida or Alaska, where you can sneak away for a day or two (individually or as a group) to catch your fishing dreams. In other cases, you can take them on a dedicated fishing trip. Here are my examples, and the lessons I learned from them:
Family Member: My Brother Mike
The Trip: El Salto, January 2016
My brother’s best friend Colin, who was almost like a second younger brother to me several decades ago, likes to fish, but with three kids rarely gets to do it. I wanted to show my brother my happy place at El Salto, and even though the two of them hadn’t fished in years, I figured they could get the hang of it quickly – especially in a place as fertile as El Salto, at a time of year when a number of techniques would work. They had a great trip. In fact, each of them caught an 8-pounder on the final day (“Is that a good one?” Mike asked). They drank a lot of Pacificos, they enjoyed the adventure and the service. Because Mike often travels 20-plus days a month for work, the concept of a connecting flight wasn’t a big deal to them. In fact, he had more than enough frequent flier miles for both of them to go Business Class. They stayed for 3 ½ days of fishing, the perfect amount of time for non-obsessives (Hanna and I were there for over a week).
Family Member: My Father
The Trip: Costa Rica, August 1995
I was fortunate that my parents were willing and able to pay for my law school, something that few other people I know can say. I also knew the reasons that my father in particular wanted to take care of the bills, and how much of a sacrifice he made to do so – so after taking the bar exam and before heading off for a month in Alaska with friends from school (after which the dreaded REAL WORLD would start) I wanted to show him my appreciation. I wanted to spend some time with him. I had pocketed a fair amount of money from my job the prior summer and wanted to be the one who paid. It was a transitional point in my life, from his kid to my own semi-freestanding adult. Selfishly, I thought the best way to do that would be a fishing trip. Because he has terrible allergies (and little or no interest in fishing), I chose Costa Rica. Honestly, I don’t know if he feels the same way, but until we went to Guatemala as a family in 2020, it was one of my most memorable weeks. Once again, we fished three days, more than enough for the non-angler in the group, and we caught sailfish, marlin, mahi, roosterfish and other species.
Family Member: My Parents (Plus Hanna)
The Trip: Guatemala, February 2020
For my 50th birthday, my parents asked to spend time with us in the location of our choice. I asked if that included fishing, expecting the answer to be “We’d prefer not.” To my surprise, they said “Of course!” I was excited, but I knew that I couldn’t pick someplace too grueling or distant. They have busy schedules, so it had to be someplace we could get to and back in one day. They’re also nearly 80 years old, and not in the best of health, so ripping a Woodchopper or fighting 6-foot waves in a bass boat was off the table. Furthermore, they’re used to high-end accommodations. Ultimately, based on several recommendations, we chose Casa Vieja Lodge in Guatemala. They loved it, and while I’m not sure that they’d ever go there again without us, I know that they bragged about it to their friends. It didn’t hurt that we caught 37 sailfish in three days, but we could have caught a quarter as many and they still would’ve enjoyed it every bit as much. They loved the food and the service, and the fact that the boat had air-conditioning and a head.
Family Member: My Nephew Tai (11 years old)
The Trip: Lake St. Clair, October 2019
My nephew Tai is a Rainman-like football fan and when my brother got tickets to a Giants/Lions game in Detroit in October 2019 and invited me, I saw it as an opportunity to take Mike, Tai and Tai’s friend Erik trolling for muskies with a Captain who I knew was one of the best on the lake. It ended up being a cold, windy day, but I had warned them to dress appropriately so that was not an issue. Both boys had been raised on a super-healthy diet, so I think they were more excited by the HoHo snack cakes and Pop Tarts that I brought along than by the actual fishing, but they did get on some fish. The first fish of Tai’s life was a 46-inch muskie. Then he went back to playing Madden. I really don’t know if he has fond memories of the trip or not, but it was short and better than the football game.
Family Member: My Nephew Tai (age 9) or Niece Isabel (age 9)
The Trip That Didn’t Happen: Lake Picachos, Mexico
I wanted to take one of the kids to lake Picachos, Mexico, a “numbers” lake where a hundred or two hundred bass a day is not out of the question, even if you just plink a Senko around the banks. I figured I would’ve loved that trip at their age, so why wouldn’t they? I could only see the trip through the prism of my own experiences, in which the fact that there was nothing else to do there except fish seemed like a positive rather than a negative. Despite Hanna telling me not to do it, I was ready to follow through until I asked Edwin Evers and Pete Gluszek, both of whom had 9 year-olds. Both of them told me basically the same thing: Don’t do it – because while both of their sons had been brought up fishing, and loved to do it, they also loved to throw rocks and look for frogs on the water. They were just as happy playing video games. Unless the kid was already a passionate angler, beware, they cautioned. Eventually, I acquiesced. Hanna and I don’t have kids of our own, and I’d really like to introduce the various nieces and nephews, but intellectually I know I have to do it judiciously.
So taken in concert, what lessons have I learned from these outings that I can share with you to avoid a trip to family counseling? Here are nine of my favorites:
PUT YOURSELF IN THE OTHER PERSON’S SHOES
You may think a tent-camping trip in the depths of the Amazon chasing record-class peacock bass on topwater is the ultimate life goal, and it might be for you, but it’s probably not for most people – especially those who don’t already fish. Ideally, you want to introduce them to the sport in a manner which provides a one-off bonding experience or (better yet) a gateway into more trips together. Don’t push your luck from the get-go.
PUT THEM IN A POSITION TO SUCCEED
Challenges are great but not if they’re only going to go once in a lifetime or once-in-a-blue-moon. Take your family where the fishing is going to be good – and figure out what “good” means. You may be satisfied with one 10-pound bass, but they might be happier with the consistent action of ten 1-pounders. When in doubt, choose action, and then choose big fish. They might be happier with a 40-pound catfish that you dismiss as “trash” over a beautiful 18-inch rainbow trout.
CHOOSE THE PROPER TRIP LENGTH
Hanna and I stayed at Anglers Inn El Salto and fished 12 days last November. But for the fact that I would have needed to punch a few more notches in my belt if we’d stayed any longer, I could have fished twice that long. Newcomers might not have the mental stamina, physical stamina or desire to fish anywhere near as long as you. Think about what they can likely handle and then use that as a ceiling. What are you going to do if they absolutely hate it? With kids in particular, keep sessions and trips short.
ASSESS THEIR PHYSICAL FITNESS
My brother and his best friend were in their early 40s and in good health when we went to El Salto. I knew that they’d be able to get up early and fish late, as well as pick up the basic processes, without any problems. With my parents, on the other hand, the travel to El Salto alone would have been a disaster. Choosing a boat in Guatemala with a fighting chair, an air-conditioned salon, and a pool to utilize in the evenings was more their speed.
SUGGEST THE PROPER CLOTHING
If they don’t fish, they may not know that polarized glasses will reduce eye fatigue at the end of the day, or that a Buff can come in handy in all sorts of ways. They may not know to buy/bring the right kind of shoes, or that a 70 mile per hour ride in a bass boat requires clothing that’ll keep you warmer than the air temperature would indicate. Tell them ahead of time so they can make sure they have what they need. If possible, provide it for them. No one should have to buy a $400 rainsuit to be comfortable on a once-in-a-lifetime trip and then never need it again.
PROVIDE THE PROPER GEAR
As noted above, make sure your family members have what they need to succeed. I didn’t know if Mike and Colin would fare well with baitcasting gear, so I brought them multiple spinning reels filled with 20- and 30-pound braid. They didn’t need to have a single lure because I provided anything and everything they needed. They just had to show up, drink beer, and reel ‘em in.
SURROUNDINGS MATTER
You might be willing to stay in a freezing cold yurt or a boiling hot tent to experience fantastic fishing, but most non-anglers aren’t going to relish that experience. Take them places where they’ll be spoiled, or at least not subjected to roughing-it conditions. My parents loved the creature comforts of Casa Vieja, so even if the fishing didn’t excite them, the idea of staying at a five-star resort did.
LET THEM BE THE FOCUS
You’re going to have to turn away from your own fishing needs, at least part of the time. Make sure their gear is operating correctly, that they have the process down, and that there’s nothing you can do to make the experience better. Remember, if they like it now, they may want to go with you again, and if they get the fishing part down early they’ll leave you to enjoy your own fishing success on this trip.
THESE TRIPS MAY HAVE A LONG TAIL
Assuming that you like your family members, the goal here is to spend quality time with them, let them see why you love to fish so much and ideally to get them to join you on future trips. After my St. Clair muskie trip with my nephew, I didn’t think it was a failure, but I didn’t see that it lit a fire under him. But you know what? Tai’s friend Erik loves to fish. He spends half of his time with family in Florida and calls and texts me all of the time with fishing questions or to tell me about the largemouths and snook he caught. Now Tai may be coming around, seeing the sport as cool rather than weird – and even though Hanna and I don’t have kids, there’s still a chance I can groom an angler in the family. It’s never too late.
