Hong Kong: My Teenage Exotic Eating Fail
In late 1984, just short of my 15th birthday, my father built a combined work/family trip to Hong Kong and Tokyo. He would have speaking engagements in both countries, but other than that we’d have a lot of time to explore the sights and cultures of the two cities. We even worked in a day that took us through Macau to a model village in China.
Being a moody teen, I wanted nothing to do with it. While I’ve since discovered that Tokyo is one of my favorite places to travel (and I’m desperate to get back), at the time the idea of flying for what seemed like endless hours to spend time with my nuclear family seemed like a nightmare. I just wanted to stay home or go someplace closer, warmer and less tourist-oriented. But for my age, I’m not sure why I was so difficult – if we’d stayed at home I didn’t have a girlfriend and couldn’t drive. It’s not like I was going to have some epic adventure.
Nearly 40 years later, I remember only the oddest set of facts about that trip:
Getting chastised by security staff in a Japanese airport for playing Nerf football with my brother.
The guide in then-Communist China who could not pronounce a “V” and kept talking about a “fishing willage.”
The hotel in Hong Kong which had a rotating quartet of US movies on the television: Cold War classic “Red Dawn”; Rick Springfield’s “Hard to Hold”; “Harlem Nights” with Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, and Redd Foxx; and of course “Howard the Duck.”
Most memorable, however, at least in terms of family lore, were my bratty eating habits. Each night the family tried a different local cuisine or option and I made things as difficult as possible. That was particularly true in Hong Kong, where they found one beloved place that had a menu that made my skin crawl. I’m sure I could’ve found something to eat and I probably would’ve loved it, but in the throes of teenaged rebellion I instead chose to make a big deal of it. While the rest of them enjoyed the local delicacies and oddities, I went next door by myself to the San Francisco Steakhouse where not only could I enjoy more familiar foods, but I also got to watch tape-delayed CFL games and strongman competitions on a young ESPN.
In my defense, my otherwise law-abiding father pilfered the menu from the restaurant in question and – consistent with my recollections – there were some pretty hideous meals on offer. Sorry for the low quality of the scan. I’ll spell out some of the more disturbing dishes.
The front cover starts off pretty reasonably. For all I know the lettering may warn of what is inside, or might even say “Abandon hope all ye who enter here.” As far as we know, nothing is awry.
On Page 1, however, things get a little wacky right off the bat. Here are some of the winners:
Double Boiled Owl
Double Boiled Deer Penis with Chicken and Chinese Herbs
Five Kinds of Snake in Superior Broth Served with Chrysanthemum Petals
Page 2, the “Special Suggestions,” is equally strange for western tastes. While the “Double Boiled Fresh Water Turtle with Chinese Herbs,” might be ok, they quickly take it to 11 with the following.
Double Boiled Fresh Water Giant Turtle’s Penis with Chinese Herbs
I had to look up Civet and Muntjac to find out what those animals were, because subsequent listings included “Braised Muntjac’s Blood with Chives” and “Double Boiled Muntjac’s Head and Trotters with Chinese Herbs.”
Page 3 is pretty tame by comparison, various bird’s nest items and mushrooms.
And Page 4 is a continuation of the relatively mundane bamboo, mushroom and bird’s nest selections.
Page 5 is devoted entirely to the treasured Sharks Fins. In many places the sale, trade, purchase or transport of shark fins is banned for most purposes. Shark finning is illegal in US waters, but all these decades later China and Hong Kong remain hotbeds for their sale.
In hindsight, other than the genitalia-based options, it’s not as horrific as I remember. If I ever go back to Hong Kong, I owe it to the family to search this place out and make amends (selectively).
