F#cked Up Travel News for December 2021
We run into our share of travel delays and craziness, but as a general rule we consider a trip successful if the logistics are unexceptional. Apparently, there are plenty of people who think otherwise. As long as they’re not on my plane, or otherwise screwing with my journey, I’m happy to laugh with them or about them.
Woman caught breastfeeding her hairless cat on a Delta flight
I was only slightly less than terrified to click on this seemingly NSFW headline. In her defense, Delta allows small animals to fly under certain conditions and has clearly articulated polies on breastfeeding children, but I can’t find anything about hooking up your cat, hairless or otherwise, directly to the tap. Money quote: “This woman had one of those, like, hairless cats swaddled up in a blanket so it looked like a baby. Her shirt was up and she was trying to get the cat to latch and she wouldn’t put the cat back in the carrier. And the cat was screaming for its life.”
U.S. Customs and Border Protection Seized $56K Worth of Bongs at Dulles Airport
Someone’s weekend got absolutely ruined when this would-be Pineapple Express got intercepted.
TSA Security at LaGuardia Airport Discover Sword in Traveler's Carry-On Bag
Not to be outdone by the Dulles Green Team, someone traveling through LaGuardia considered going medieval on your ass by toting a sword in his (to be fair, it could have been a “her”) carry-on. Remember, no fencing foils or machetes in the backpack, junior.
United Passenger Stuck At Chicago O’Hare Has Epic Overnight Adventure
Allison Robicelli did not have her desired McRib for breakfast, but she still turned an unplanned overnight stay in O’Hare into a tweeted scavenger hunt.
Chad Ochocinco Johnson credits McDonald’s for his healthy NFL career
For those of you who eat like crap or want to eat like crap on the road (see the O’Hare story, above), there’s still hope. Key section: “The body needs to build a callous,” Johnson said. “How do you do that? By eating whatever you want. The reason for my success, and everyone else’s — Trevon Diggs and Micah Parsons; ask any of those that are succeeding right now and haven’t been hurt — McDonald’s is the answer.”
