Don't Be the Ugly American

I figure I’ve been to approximately 25 countries, but my niece, who is almost 15, has likely been to at least as many, probably more. Most of her earliest memories came while living in Tokyo, she spent last summer at Oxford, and she’s made it her goal to visit every country on earth (good luck with North Korea, Yemen and a few others). That may not happen in the post-COVID-19 world, but she’s off to a damn good start.

Some of you have been to many more countries that I have. Like my niece, you’re probably more fluent in international travel than I am. You don’t need reminders of how to go through customs or how to behave.

On the other hand, some of my greatest memories have occurred taking first-time international travelers abroad. It might be as simple as going fishing at El Salto in Mexico, but lots of hairy-legged he-men who are masters of their domain get nervous when they’re out of their element. I’m sure that’s why a large segment of the bass fishing world resists the kind of travel that makes me so happy – and while their rationales are often cloaked in xenophobia, I believe it’s more likely the result of fear and uncertainty.

So the one lesson I’d like to remind all of us, no matter how experienced (including myself) is to resist the urge to be the Ugly American. Remember, you are in their sandbox and their rules and customs apply. That doesn’t mean it pays to be passive – you can and should assert yourself at times to avoid being taken advantage of – but you need to show respectful deference. You might even learn something.

When we get frustrated, or confused, that’s when our baser instincts tend to emerge. So as a reminder, as much to myself as to anyone else, here are some basic rules:

If people don’t understand what you’re saying, talking louder typically doesn’t make your meaning any clearer.

Saying, “But this is how we do it at home,” definitely doesn’t help.

Throwing cash around, while it may be effective for some things, can also be demeaning. Don’t expect people to genuflect as you pull out a few bucks, and don’t get mad when they don’t. It’s also a good way to get robbed in some places. 

Don’t turn your nose up in disgust at any food. If you cannot bring yourself to try it, decline politely.

Learn about customs like tipping, about appropriate dress in public places, and other habits – and certainly don’t disrespect natural resources or national treasures  A little research ahead of time, or asking questions of someone who knows better, can avoid a huge embarrassment.

Most importantly, engage the people around you who live there. Ask about music and sports and other topics that don’t necessarily trigger a fault line. Don’t start with politics or religion until you have a good handle on your counterpart, and even then remain aware of who else is around you.

As I wrote above, while I may not be the most experienced or even the savviest traveler around, I’m very aware of what I do not know. I try to take that openness with me everywhere, but especially when I travel internationally. Hanna and I would love to have you join us on one of our distant fishing trips, especially if up until this point you’ve resisted the pull.